yeah, like I said, who knows our deepest motivations, but I just see myself as someone that SHOULD have an album together. That lines up more with how I see myself
It reminds me of lifting weights. everyone in the gym wants to lift more. We all know Monday is national bench press day. Folks like to brag about what they lift. Fine, I have no issue with that. But thats a “gym lift.” It aint official lol.
So instead of bragging in the gym I decided to compete in actual powerlifting meets. Just the simple act of actually competing in an official meet put me into a whole different category IMO. It deffo put things into a whole different light. All of a sudden all the guys in your gym who you thought were so strong, they start to look less strong lol.
Going to a different town and competing on someone else’s timeframe, on equipment you’ve never used before…with 3 judges watching you etc. Thats a lot different than bragging to your buddies about some lift you made one night while no one else was around
Same with chess. Lots of people play online. a much smaller % have the guts to go to a local starbux or whatever to play against a real human sitting across the board. of that small % an even much smaller % will join the USCF and go play in official tourneys.
I got heavy into chess a few years back and of course I went and played in tourneys and did quite well actually. You dont know competition until you sit across from someone and you try to mutually destroy each other with just your minds lol.
So it just naturally follows that I would want to have an “official” album released. Whether or not 5 people buy it isnt really the question. Having an album actually released simply puts one in a different category IMO.
Besides which, I dont have, nor will i ever have kids to leave behind. So I gotta leave SOMETHING behind as a contribution lol
It just pisses me off that in addition to all of the musical stuff that i also have to be some sort of amateur software programmer/troubleshooter trying to figure out why other peoples stuff doesnt work