I don’t know, I think it’s like, why do we learn to talk or write?
There’s not really a “why” – the language surrounds us, so we jump in and communicate. It’s part for that, but it also provides an inner mental framework for thoughts and associations. So learning what makes music “tick” gives you a window into deconstructing one of the great mysteries. If that doesn’t make it worthwhile right there, it gets you pretty close, assuming music is your bag at all.
So the music thing…it’s such different things to different people. “Art is what the artist SAYS it is.”
For sure. But you’re here, and your post (O.P.) doesn’t sound like “sour grapes” or anything – I mean, I sense the frustration in your post, but I sense the wonderment, too. I’d say that it’s important to remember that the speed picking “shred zone” is by far not the only dimension of music or playing – it’s not even the only dimension of speed/flash playing. So just because you hit a wall doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment running straight into it.
I mean, let’s say you hit that 120/130 BPM sixteenth note picking wall, and you can do legato sixes at that speed no problem. Is there a groove that you’d run into that you couldn’t create a heck of a solo for, peaking out at that speed? Really, if you have everything else covered (that’s a pretty big “if,” of course), that’s essentially 99 out of 100 things you’d EVER encounter, and the shred thing is a bonus – in fact, I hate to say it, but sometimes it’s the LEAST interesting part of a solo, musically speaking.
So it’s a drag to see a “shred or bust” post when, 1) we all know the universe of music is SO much bigger than that, 2) improvements may be the unexpected “quantum leap” moreso than the gradual building of tempo, so, even if you are convinced that shred is your only destiny, it might take patience AND persistence, and 3) despite the fact that you are clearly intrigued by the music thing as a whole, the “tunnel vision” you might be forcing yourself into might hinder you from pivoting as you go – and there is the possibility of finding your musical self in things you run into along the way.
So what’s your profile? It looks like you’re an adult ("…capture the feeling I had as a kid…"). Do you see yourself recording? Performing? Writing? Do you dig creating by yourself, or are you itching to rock out with a rhythm section (when this whole thing is over)? Do you have your heart set on playing for an audience at some point, or are you a “basement legend” just trying to play with some cool sounds? Is your music pretty much for you alone, or do you feel compelled to share it? How does social media play into that – is the fact that there is a community around this stuff part of what makes it intriguing?
Or is it really that you just like playing and hearing those sounds that come out? If so, then next time these confusing feelings come up, strap on a guitar, play a nice big power chord…