This is a good start, but it looks a little wiggly, as in, not strictly a wrist motion, but a little bit of forearm rotating on each note. This can work, and great players like Andy Wood do bits of this on certain phrases, somewhat idiosyncratically. But in my experience these types of lines feel smoother when you find the arm / hand position that doesn’t require the wiggling. And that’s a little more ulnar than what you’re doing here.
In addition, an easier phrase to start with would be one without as much back and forth between strings, like this one we looked at:
Doesn’t have to be all six strings, could be four or five, or some variation on this. In general, seventh chord type lines work out well for this because they usually end up with a mix of one and two notes per string. Choose your favorite tonality and work out some cool shapes across three or more strings, and you’ll have some cool phrases to add to your vocabulary that aren’t vanilla box or scale shapes.
@charface looks like he’s using a supinated setup here, not a pronated one. In Molly’s case, the right side of her hand is off the strings. Here it looks like there is contact. It’s a lightly supinated setup, like Andy Wood or Mike Stern, but it appears to be supinated with respect to the strings. The plane of the strings is the point of reference we use, i.e. not anatomical supination / pronation, but “strings supination” or “strings pronation”. Confusing, I know.
This is a tricky subject because both supinated and pronated setups work for these phrases. Even more supinated setups, like Albert Lee, Eddie Van Halen, and Steve Morse, also work — you just need to change your grip to reach the strings.