Using "The Simpsons" for rhythm practice. Possibly lost the plot

Hi all, I might have gone a little insane practicing hand sync over various rhythms. With my lack of motivation to learn Konnakol I decided on creating a spoken rhythmical language. The only language I could possibly think of with the syllable variation to create a workable set of subdivisions for guitar was the slick rhythmical work of Ned Flanders…

Before you read on I’ll warn you that once you learn this, it can never be unlearnt. You will be Didley didley ding ding danging through licks for the rest of your life.

So we first have the crotchet.
This can easily be covered with Flander’s wifes name:

1 beat = “Maude”

Second up is the quaver. This one is easy:

1/2 beat = “Flan-ders”
Used so gracefully already by Homer Simpson:

Third up we have the triplet.
Interchangeably, there are two obvious options:

Triplet = either “Rod-and-Tod” or Homer’s exclamation of multiple Flanders: “Flan-ders-ses”

The semiquaver is next and this is into the slick Flandersism territory for fast syllables.

1/4 beat = “Nei-bou-ri-no”

Or “Nei-bou-ri-to”

Or “mob-or-ri-no”

Finally for the quickest notes we need to draw upon Flanders most well known ramblings.

For your 16th note triplets, we can either have:


You can even add to this with the first note of the next beat like so:


Like the well known rhythm of the lick in Metallica’s “One”

There is a more than ample 10 hours of listening pleasure here:

Or alternatively you can use:

You can now count your picking patterns out like a real Flanders, drive your family and friends totally crazy and probably, most importantly, drive yourself totally crazy too.

I hope you enjoy foruminos!


Hahahahahahahaha! That made me seriously lol! Nice post by the way :+1:

I’ll confess - I’m closing this thread here. Such knowledge, but at SUCH a price. It’s too great to bear…

If you are even slightly considering learning konnakol I cannot recommend it highly enough. It isn’t just rhythmic solfege, it is a whole concept of how to relate to rhythm. All Western ways of understanding rhythm are included in konnakol, but there are also other choices also included that are just as fruitful and, because they are less explored, super interesting

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Can you recommend any good starting points (courses or videos?) for the uninitiated?

The craziest thing is that this all makes perfect sense! I think the thread deserves a promotion to “general music discussion” :smiley:

Rafael Reina wrote a PhD thesis called “Karnatic Rhythms as a source for new thinking in Western Music” and posted it to the internet as a free PDF which is how I learned about this stuff. That PhD thesis is still available on the internet but I’m a little hesitant to share it as he has since written a book that seems like it’s all the same information plus more and better structured

I would definitely recommend either buying his book or snagging that PDF

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Thank you - he was easy to find. Will order that book. There is a YT series that goes through big picture stuff here :