I've lost my love for guitar(?) Help

This sounds very similar to how I’m feeling most days about guitar. Maybe I need to spend some time away doing other things musically and it will come back eventually.

It’s exactly how you put it “being comfortable in my own skin” as a guitar player. I’ve never been, even though people I’ve played with/for always gave me positive feedback. I wouldn’t consider me a bad player at all, but I’m not where I wanted to be either. Realising that I won’t be the next Kiko Loureiro might be a good start in solving my mental blocks.

I’ve felt this many times, and for me it comes from not being satisfied where my playing is and from realizing no matter how much work I put into it I’m highly unlikely to support myself with making music or playing guitar.

I also can get super depressed in life because I’m not where I want to be and will likely always just be some guy in the background.

I know what this is tho… It’s lack of perspective, and brainwashing.
I listen to Cacophony loads, and that level of guitar playing is an unrealistic goal, yet I’ve brainwashed myself to see that as the standard. But it’s not at all! Most guitar in most of the stuff I used to listen too is really tame, a lot of the guitar in songs that used to make my hairs stand up was just a simple rumbling or screeching well placed in a song, stuff I’m totally capable of.

It’s the same with life, I see people going about their lives carefree full of money, family, friends etc…
But thats on tv or youtube, not real life at all. When you go out and see the guy working all day in a supermarket day after day, homeless people on the street. People in India sifting through literal shit trying to find specks of gold to sell. It really resets your expectations for a time.

We all seriously lack perspective on the reality’s of life at times. We expect way to much from our constant brainwashing. I bet if you lived somewhere with no tv, internet etc you’d soon get an urge to fiddle with the guitar.
But this could be just my opinion.

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Haha I often feel ungrateful for that I have or what I’ve achieved. This year I got my degree with a respectable grade, I got into a top 40 worldwide University, my family is healthy and I’m bummed out because I can’t shred like 90s Richie Kotzen.

My main issue is that I’m too self critical, I always focus on the things I’m not good at.

I think another thing worth keeping in mind is that a lot of the shreddage you see on youtube (and on records) is heavily edited.

Most of the “performances” we see are not live at all. They are likely the splicing of many takes (in the best case scenario).

Watch a live performance of any of our guitar heroes: Vai, Satriani, Petrucci, YJM, etc., etc. - you will hear a lot of mistakes if you know what to listen for. They still sound great though, I’m not trying to bash them!

I’m trying to say that we got a very distorted view of what a guitar performance really sounds like. If we compare ourselves to these idealisations we’re bound to feel bad!

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I’ve been practicing a lot to backing track jams lately. It makes it more fun, musical than aimlessly playing a along to a metronome and takes your mind off so intently focusing on your technique.

You not being able to shred like a 90s Richie Kotzen in my opinion is a good thing. That guy sounds very noodley and unmusical a lot of times in my opinion. :man_shrugging: I saw him in Vegas about a year ago and walked out I was so bored. To each their own.

I had two main goals as a free time musician while growing up. I wanted my worst night to be a good performance for the average player (failed massively so far) and I wanted to release a prog-y album until I’m 30 (still have a lot of time ahead of me).

I get what you mean, everyone makes mistakes, but these people still remain fantastic performers even in their “off” nights.

No offence taken at all, I’m a massive fan of Richie Kotzen, I like all of his periods. Kotzen, Malmsteen, Kiko Loureiro and Gary Moore are my favourite players.

Good teachers are GREAT, actually. But, in my world, can’t find one. ANSWER: Ya gotta be INTO it! Get some jam tracks. Fiddle with them ALOT, in YOUR style. Practice makes perfect, I’m not sure there is an alternate.

This may be repeating several folks here, but… here it is:

I know what you’re going through, I am having the same problem. I’ve been through this before though, and it can be a huge drag. I am coming off of about 2 and a half years of study, classes, courses, etc. and am experiencing a bit of “burn out”. It’s something I call “being in a funk”. I don’t want to play my favorite songs, don’t want to learn new ones, am tired of the endless excercises and routines… just, blah. No drive to play, at all. I expected this, though because I’ve dealt with it quite a few times since I started playing.

So, four years ago I was in a car wreck, nothing really bad, but I ended up with some nerve damage. I remembered everything, but it didn’t “work” any more. My movements were all out of whack, and had weakness and numbness in parts of my hand, and in my fingers and thumb on both hands.

After the first weeks of dealing with it, I just started focusing on small things that I could (at least halfway) do. That was it, just small things, a little at a time. If I tried too long or too often I would get frustrated and that just wont do. (That’s the first thing: just play in small amounts even if it’s just once or twice a day).

After a couple years, which was 2 and a half (maybe 3) years ago, I felt like I wanted something structured. I could play some rhythms, but leads were a no-go. So I “emptied my glass” and started courses and instruction as if I were a beginner. In a way, I was. I had to learn the mechanics of everything I used to do, all over again. Something one of my instructors taught me, was to establish goals. Short, near future, and long term. And, make them precise. Otherwise you will overload easily. It made perfect sense, because before all this happened, that was the way I practiced. I suppose with the new challenges, I just forgot because I was overwhelmed. (That’s the second thing: be precise in what you want to do. Don’t matter if it changes every day, either!)

So, here is what I have done. I put myself in a time out. I only play 2 times a day no longer than 30 minutes. Or, 3 or 4 times, 10 or 15 minutes each. I have an odd work schedule so it’s hard to say “I’m practicing at 7:30PM tonight”… because that never happens lol. (That’s tip three: Don’t worry about ‘when’ you practice or play. It’s better, seriously, to pick up the guitar 3 times at 5 or 10 minutes each, than one time for 30 minutes).

Don’t be discouraged, this happens. To everyone, even the pros. Everyone has a break period, I know one guy who took every Sunday off, without fail, even he wanted desperately to play. Another actually stopped for something like 5 or 6 weeks. I like to just ‘back off’, small periods 2 or 3 times a day maybe 15m each. After doing that for a week or so, I find my interest start to peak. Still, I keep backed off, until I get inspired or decide to…

Make goals! And take your time making them. No rush, man! Guitar is really about the journey, and you should just think about what you want out of it, then decide on what YOU can do to get there. If it’s a song, make goals to learn it. If it’s a scale pattern, mode, etc., it works the same. If you want some structured instruction, go for it! You just need to gear that to what you decide to do.

And don’t feel bad about putting it down for a bit. You may be surprised that things come smoother to you after a break like that (though your fingers may complain from missing their calluses :smiley: )

Some other things I like to do: listen to songs I have written, listen to old recordings of shows or watch old videos of shows of previous bands, watch OTHER people play their own songs or material. A lot of times, I will just work on my guitars, or my amp, or experiment with my processor. Even reading a book or binging a show. For me, these activities give me a boost and I will start to get the itch again in a day or two, usually.

Hope it helps, and I’m not just rambling… Cheers!

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I can help! I’ve had 2 long breaks where I never played. It’ll take some time to get your coordination back but it’s not a problem. Here’s what happened. I burned out doing too much scale single note practice and also the kind of music I was playing with bands. Blues and zydeco. I still love it but I got back to playing by going on utube ( there are 2 or 3 guys for almost any song showing you)and learning a Different style of repertoire (80s rock was my choice)Singing, chords and being able to play a great song in detail by yourself. Recently I joined this site and began polishing my single notes again and now I love it also but learning songs was key to getting me back.

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I’ve been there. Over the past 30 years I’ve had periods of intense, focused practice and I’ve also let entire years go by without playing at all. REMEMBER: learning the guitar is really about finding out who you are; it’s self-discovery. If you spend too much time practicing technique or playing other people’s songs, you can lose your enthusiasm. My recommendation is that whenever you do feel like getting back into it, make sure your practice routine is balanced. Some amount of time should be spent developing your own licks and riffs. Some time should be spent on improving your technique. And the rest of the time should be spent on whatever got you excited about playing in the first place (maybe playing covers?). Keep your chops honed so that when the opportunity to play with other musicians comes along, you’re ready.
Also, remember that it’s normal to feel burnt out after graduation (same thing happened to me). Sometimes it takes a few months to get your drive back.

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I gave up for 8 years for one reason or another - work commitments… time constraints…having kids… the fact that my rock star dreams finally died :disappointed_relieved: . I picked up a guitar again during this covid business and now can’t believe I went 8 years (so glad i didn’t sell off all my gear). Anyhow, I think for me the key is feeling that there is progress happening, weather that’s learning a new style/genre, technique or even just new songs/licks. It’s so easy to get stuck trying to learn the same thing over and over. For me it was always picking technique, I just couldn’t get to where i wanted to be or work out why - Cracking the Code helped me realise why my picking wasn’t where i wanted it to be after years of pain and now i have a new love for guitar again.

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Thank you for your messages, they helped me realise that this probably won’t last forever. I hope it comes back to me soon.

Unfortunately right now I’m in a very weird situation, I stay in Greece until my University in Amsterdam starts in person lectures. Covid-19 has forced the institution into having the first semester online. So basically I’m just waiting here. Doing a full time Master’s degree is already a pain haha

I hope that as soon as I move to the Netherlands I can find a band, playing alone in your apartment will never be as fun.

get yourself a native american flute. that will get your love for music back.

I would say its difficult to enjoy the craft if you’re stuck in an area and that area prevents u from moving forward in your entire guitar journey. I do enjoy it immensely and don’t expect instant results, but it sucks to be totally halted.

Huge thread revival, mostly because I appreciated (and still do) the kindhearted responses here.

So, long story short. After moving abroad to get a master’s degree, have an internship, I am now working at a very high political level in my continent (EU) and I still haven’t been able to get off this guitar “rut”.

Turns out I have a mental condition with intense perfectionist attitudes and tendencies, which manifest through anxiety, depressive symptoms and ultimately, burn-outs. I am going to therapy for a while now, but the goal was to get me more functional in life, as the only area that was not impacted by my mental health was work. Actually, my condition was quite beneficial at work as it results in extreme focus, getting things done and making no mistakes.

I hope that soon I can start dealing with this aspect of my life, as guitar (and music) has always been a huge part of my journey. I tried everything these last 3 years. Trying to learn a new instrument (keyboard), learning music theory, harmony and get into film scoring. Everything failed for the same reason guitar failed.

I am having such a high standard of how I should “perform” or feel during these activities, that I ended up abandoning them because all I got out of them was frustration and negative self-talk.

The main reason I am writing this here is to encourage people to keep an eye on their mental health. Things we perceive as “normal” might not be. I have been suffering while appearing functional for a while now and I would be in an even worse place if my partner was not so supportive and caring.

I am very glad to see that there are still people here pushing themselves, while enjoying the learning process and I hope that I can re-join you soon, but with a healthier mindset.

Congrats @tommo for joining the team and for the success you have. I remember listening (and mixing) your first demos back in the day, I knew that your hard work will get you places, you’re a crazy player and a great educator!

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Hey Bill!
Nice to “see” you again :slight_smile:

Perfectionism can indeed be dangerous — I think I often experience a milder version of what you describe in my own work.

Best of luck in dealing with this. And if I may, from what I remember of your playing (as well as producing) skills you are pretty far from a “failure” :slight_smile:

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Hey Bill,

I think I can understand where you’re at, I’ve been through some issues myself. I had stopped having fun till I made a new musician buddy, young kid helped keep the flame on, it’s been great to have somebody to talk to and hang out, we share the same love for music, playing, tone and guitars. Though I only play when he’s over once a month, it’s been 4 or 5 months where my guitars are just sitting on their stands, I’ve been through this before and I’d like to break this dry spell too.

Some times a longish break can be refreshing. Hope you find your way back, I really recommend trying to play from your mind with backtracks and be yourself, we get sucked into exacting unnatural performances from ourselves, it’s a double edged sword as we know.

So my advice is to just pull up your socks and remember to make music.

Good luck to you and all that go through this periodically.

That’s too kind of you to say tommo!

Looking back, I recognize that my development had an upward (sic) trajectory, which I think is what matters. It was difficult to see at the time, as it felt more like banging my head against the wall most of the time. “Just enjoy it” doesn’t come very easy to me, the highs of achieving something are not as intense as the lows of failing.

I am getting there though!

I definitely agree with what you’re saying about playing with others, either in person or through working in online projects.

I live in a city with a very active and diverse music scene, but I never felt good enough to even join a cover band for fun. Maybe that’s something to think about in the future.

I still play with backing tracks (both mine and from others), but it’s been very difficult to separate the writer from the critic in my mind. Most of the time I critique what I play as I am playing, terrible exercise from a creative standpoint haha